DJGold

djontheside · Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 2:18 am Post subject: Introduction

Need some input please. I am doing a wedding for a great couple. The original date was in June but they changed it due to the MOB being diagnosed with Cancer. It was changed to January but sadly she died. Bride wants her mother to be introduced with the father as "Parents of the Bride" He is coming in with a Godmother. Need some input on a classy way to incorporate all three in the introduction without putting feet in the mouth. Thanks to all!

djmc · Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 4:23 am Post subject:

How can you introduce someone who isn't there?

Honestly, it seems like you're between a rock and a hard place.....perhaps there is some way to honor the deceased, like a moment of silence....but to introduce someone who's not there?

I feel for you....because it will be very hard for you to discuss this with the grieving bride.

jbrown157 · Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 5:50 am Post subject: Re: Introduction

I think I would try to convince the Bride to honor her mother with a moment of silence (or something similar) just prior to or along with the blessing before dinner. You could also play a song for her (I suggest "To Where You Are - Josh Groban). I'd try to get this done as early in the evening as possible to get it out of the way. A somber moment like this is not condusive to getting a party started. Good Luck!

jwg · Joined: September 15th, 2004 Posts: 1089 Location: Erie, PA

Sorry to hear of such a sad situation.

Perhaps, something like this. "As we pause to reflect on the memory of [bride's mom's name], let's introduce the father of the bride [his name] escorting the bride's godmother [her name] who's a true parent in every sense of the word and has been there in a time of need."

dokai · Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 11:41 am Post subject:

I agree with everyone else's opinion - what you're being asked to do is impossible. In fact, I think that introducing the godmother with the father as part of "the parents of the bride" is about as far from "classy" as I can imagine, unless there were mitigating circumstances. I guess if the mother had been in a vegatative state for a decade and the godmother had been helping raise the bride, then MAYBE it would be less awkward. *shrugs* However, if there's no way to get the bride to change her mind, here's what I'd try:

"Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the parents of the bride. Let us observe a moment of silence in memory of the mother of the bride, who is with us in spirit, the late *insert mother's name here*. "

<pause>

*resuming a little more upbeat* "Accompanied by the bride's godmother, *godmother's name*, I present the father of the bride, *father's name*."

With the above, the mother gets her recognition, the godmother is acknowledged with as little emphasis as possible, and then dad gets his introduction.

Good luck!

winsorpd · Joined: February 21st, 2005 Posts: 110 Location: Gorham, ME

Howdy,

Seperate the two things. If you introduce the deceased mom with her dad, that diminishes him. Try this Intro:

"Here's (bride's name) father Dan accompanied by (bride's name) godmother Sarah."

After all the introductions, first dance, toast, etc. Ask that all remain standing to remember mom. Have the bride write a few things to say to mom and you read them. Try not to cry.

Just my thoughts....

Dave

djdonny · Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 3:07 pm Post subject:

Quote: Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the parents of the bride.

Leave "introduce" out of it. I'd also omit "the late." Otherwise, pretty good. I'd modify it to:

Quote: "Ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a moment of silence in memory of the mother of the bride, who is with us in spirit, *insert mother's name here*. "

<pause>

"And now please welcome, accompanied by the bride's godmother, *godmother's name*, the father of the bride, *father's name*."

Run it by the Bride and see what she thinks.

sddj · Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 11:49 am Post subject: Re: Introduction

Many pitfalls here... but here are some ideas.

1) Don't introduce them... leave the parents out. Need to convince bride of why this would be awkward and a "downer" to announce them. A avoid the whole thing due to the situation.

2) Introduce the 3 together... "we'd like to introduce the bride's father John Doe, her godmother Sarah Doe and, and although not with us tonight, we'd like to recognize the John's wife of 37 years and the bride's mother . . . Mavis."

3) forget moments of silence, especially at the beginning. It'll start the event off on the wrong foot, from which you may never recover because now everyone is thinking of a recent sad moment, vs the upbeat attitude of a wedding.

4) Have the bride say a few words about mom, as mentioned earlier, after the first dance...but NOT you... the bride should say it.

winsorpd · Joined: February 21st, 2005 Posts: 110 Location: Gorham, ME

Howdy,

IF the bride is willing, let her say something. If not, you can.

Dave

ps. Done it before....it was very effective.

djontheside · Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 1:28 pm Post subject: Re: Introduction

Thanks so much for all of your comments and suggestions. I am new here and will be filling out my profile, logo etc in short order.

This is a toughie and all of your professionalism and experience has helped me immensely.

I'll let you know what we do!!

Chris

TheBartman47 · Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 9:26 pm Post subject: Re: Introduction

HA! I like the logo. Very remenicent of cattle branding creativity from days of old.

DJ Teddy Bear · Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 1:20 am Post subject:

You have GOT to get some input from the bride.

HOWEVER, do not suggest skipping this, or suggesting that it would be a 'downer'. She already said she wants the introduction. It is not your place to talk her out of it.

The input would only be to provide a choice of scripts and let her pick one or modify one for you to use.

Personally, I'd suggest the following:

"Ladies and gentlemen. As most of you know, the wedding date was changed from the original June selection to today because :name:'s mother was diagnosed with cancer. Unfortunately, she passed away on :date:. So we'd like to welcome the spirit of :name:, whom we believe is with us on this joyous occasion."

-pause-

"And now, please welcome :name:'s father :name:, escorted by her godmother :name:"

I'm not sure why, but I prefer putting the father before the godmother. Of course, if you're gonna intro the godmother, shouldn't you also intro the godfather? Sorry if I opened another can of worms....

Lynchy · Joined: March 14th, 2006 Posts: 7 Location: Vermont

Gonna sound bad, but unless he has her ashes in his other hand there is no way to introduce the deceased mother.

I agree with the others ... best way to intro dad and God mother is:

Father of the Bride (his name) escorting his new fling ... OMG I'm just kidding!!!!

Father of the bride (his name) escorting the Brides GODmother (her name).
As far as recognizing the mother.... u have a toast and blessing before the meal ... why not a moment of silence. If you have it in you after the toast say something like:
Today is a special day for (B&G) and as we all know special things take special people. So let us take this time to recognize a special person. A person we know is watching over our B&G today and everyday. Lets bow our heads and thank (mom's name) for bringing (bride's name) into our lives and (grooms name) life. A moment of silence for this very special person.

Heck, I'm cryig already.

Not to sound crude, but you'll shine, and you've got dinner to move on from.

djontheside · Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 3:13 am Post subject: Re: Introduction

Thanks to all who gave input. I went with the suggestions by Dokai and Donny. Bride and Father of the Bride were very pleased .

The party was great. Thanks again!