DJGold

djdonny · Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 10:08 pm Post subject: Where to fit sad songs....

Just curious. Where do you guys fit tear-jerkers into a wedding. This Sat's wedding is asking for In My Life (by Ozzy, no less) for "those who could not be with us, and those who are no longer with us."

I never could find the right time and place to fit this type of stuff in. Anytime something like this is played, it's so hard to bounce back up with party music, cake cutting, or really just about anything. What's your advice or suggestion?

At Last Productions · Joined: August 8th, 2004 Posts: 65 Location: Hephzibah, GA

Maybe towards the end of the night when things are slowing down?? - just a thought

sddj · Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:52 am Post subject: Re: Where to fit sad songs....

In my mind you are asking 2 different questions... to me, "tear jerkers" are NOT the same as "sad" songs.

Sad songs do not belong at a wedding, in my estimation.

Tear jerkers need to be done, if appropriate, with the bride's permission... maybe her and dad... or other relatives where something is important to that couple.

dokai · Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 9:22 am Post subject:

I agree with sddj: a wedding reception is a celebration, and sad songs should be avoided if at all possible.

That said, it sounds like you HAVE to play it. In my experience, the "a moment of silence to remember those that are no longer with us"-type things are usually done near the beginning of the event. I'd try to do it BEFORE the wedding party entered, and possibly integrate it into the "marry the room" approach discussed in another thread. Not sure if that's possible for you, but it seems to me like it'd be a better fit than any other point in the festivities would be, and the arrival/introduction of the wedding party would be a good, clean transition out of it.

Good luck!

djdonny · Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 11:57 am Post subject:

Quote: "tear jerkers" are NOT the same as "sad" songs.

You're right. I don't mean just playing random sad songs. Of course there's no place for that except at a blues club. No, I mean the obligatory song dedication for the deceased (often recently deceased) members of the family. Thanks for clearing that up.

Quote: I'd try to do it BEFORE the wedding party entered

If it was just a moment of silence, I could probably do that, but since the B&G requested a song, I have to assume they want (and they want their bridal party) to be in the room at the time to hear it.

Bryan Durio · Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:06 pm Post subject:

I've had that happen to me twice.

The first was at my Brother-in-Law's wedding Thanksgiving weekend 2004. My Mother-in-Law died of cancer in January 2004, and they wanted me to play a tribute to her. She loved Bluegrass music, so the very first song when I opened the dance floor, with words to the effect of "we're sorry that Barbara couldn't be here, but she would have wanted us to be happy today," was Mountain Music by Alabama. (Sorry for the run-on sentence!) It went over wonderfully!

The second time was this past April. The bride's biological father had died relatively recently, and she wanted me to play Charley Pride's Roll On Mississippi, his favorite song. It's not an upbeat tune, so I was looking for a good time to play it throughout the evening. I found it in the lull right after the bouquet & garter tosses. The very next song I played was the Grease Megamix, and the party took off again!

winsorpd · Joined: February 21st, 2005 Posts: 110 Location: Gorham, ME

Howdy,

I think it depends on how you "frame" it. If the B&G want it, then they believe it to be something special, after all, it must be tough be to ask for something so emotional to be included.

I had a B who had a favorite uncle who has passed away and at all the previous weddings, he sang "My Way". They had a video of him singing it, so when it came time to play it, I stopped the music and said: "I would normally play a Sinatra song at this time, but there is someone who can actually sing it with more meaning. Uncle Vinny isn't with us anymore, but I ask that you all watch the screen......(roll tape). Not a dry eye in the place and they were all smiling and crying. They all applauded and the bride mouthed the words "Thank You" to me and that REALLY got me. I said "God Bless You Uncle Vinny" Then I played "YMCA" and brought out the hats and everybody went nuts.

So, the B&G gave you permission to speak for them. Just jot something down and run it by them, then find a seam to insert it.

Good luck,

Dave

TheBartman47 · Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 2:35 pm Post subject:

Probably say a few words after that song like mentioned above, then slowly revive with an in-between type song like U2's "All I Want Is You".